I am endlessly frustrated with the phrase 'internet intimacy'. It seems to be an oxymoron.
Granted, I have felt a wonderful kinship with several people online, shared emotions, memories, and thoughts that I might never have said to their faces. I have spent a lot of time staring longingly into my web cam, all the while knowing I would never have the guts to look them straight in their (non-pixilated) eyes.
In that sense, the Internet has allowed me to be more daring, and to a certain extent, more intimate in terms of my intellectual and emotional expression. Having said that... who the fuck really gives a rat's ass?
Let's get down to the nitty gritty. I am telling you, intimacy is sensual for a reason - it involves the senses.
For example, seeing the smile lines and subtle imperfections that a web cam tends to blur, watching them integrate themselves into a more textured, human visage than 10,000 pixels will ever render; feeling the roughness (or smoothness) of a palm, even the weight of a genuine human handshake. I mean, how do you share your soul with a person when you have yet to share a handshake?
What about hearing? To not hear the clatter of a keyboard in overdrive, as you try to keep up with the frenzied pace of your thoughts, nor a hollowed out voice coming through the receiver on a cordless phone, but a real, living resonant voice echoing in the depths of your eardrums?
And then there is the sense of smell, inhaling the intricate mix of soap and shampoo, (you've got to be a hygiene connoisseur to truly discern the difference), from their neckline when you finally embrace in person; something not confined by {{ }} or **.
The difference is sensual, not sexual, but intimacy can imply either. However, at the present moment, I'm leaning towards both. This monitor and tower seem to be the proverbial tease, flaunting the awesomeness and magnitude of the person behind the pixels.
Watch out, all you CXer's. I'm not the only one here feeling this frustration. I think a 'feel the love' vibe is humming through the ether. Maybe it was the Naked Wednesday thing.
Intimacy is someone else's body heat invading your own. The tingly feeling you get at the base of your neck when someone whispers in your ear. Intimacy is one moment shared between two pairs of eyes, that conveys far more than four hours worth of ICQ messaging ever could.
Intimacy is not a right-click. It is the embrace. It is the kiss. It is the contact of a hand with another hand. It is the sensation of electricity and chemistry.
There is little intimacy on the Internet. On the Web, it is the idea of intimacy that attracts.
But ultimately, it can never supplant human contact, for that is where real intimacy lies.
3:30 p.m. - 2001-05-04
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